Wednesday, 28 August 2013

I BRED, THEREFORE I VOTE FOR TWO


My son has begun life more privileged than most, which I intend on making him aware of. Not only has he avoided the pucker lips of a publicity-seeking politician on the campaign trail (why do parents hand their babies to campaigning politicians?). Our Freddy holds a passport to a country that affords him much more than others. My son will earn an education, one he’ll use to find a job, to make a living. He can choose his own religion, or no religion. He is bound by the rule of law, but beyond that he is free to live how he chooses.

Kiss from Tony Abbott, right (but wrong)
misses baby, hits mum.

He’ll vote when he’s 18, unless the rules are changed, but until then I vote for him and he needs to keep his head away from amorous holders of public office.

Australia’s federal election is looming, and there’s a couple of votes to be cast from the MacDonalds. I’ve given a bit of thought to how best I can secure my son’s future. At the last election, my vote was directed to whoever could better a 28-year-old’s life – it wasn’t the sex party, but the one that promised me a fair and more equitable distribution of national wealth. On the first Saturday of September my countrymen and I go back to the polls. This time I have another person to think about.
Man (Prime Minister Kevin Rudd)
rests lips on (kisses) baby.

I’m after policies that will have positive impacts in the short-term, and a political party with strong long-term vision (very rare).

With the top office in the land up for grabs, much of the rhetoric has been on the economy, immigration and working families. As part of a young working family, here’s part of what I want:

- Access to affordable childcare – to put bread on the table, to pay the bills, and to keep the banks at bay (for the mortgage) my wife and I need to work. If we’re not here the boy either looks after himself or we check him into childcare. Given he can’t wipe his bum, we’ll need to ship him off to someone who can.

- Communication – Ask Freddy in two years how he is and he’ll give you his status update, you can be sure of that. I can already sense he thinks 180-character long thoughts, and if that’s too consuming, he’ll Instagram his old man to pick him up from childcare. Yes, all our children are IT nerds and if the country’s going to cope with the next generation of Alpha Betas, they’d better start investing in some heavy duty bizzo. NBN all the way.

- Education – obvious. Don’t skimp on it. The more invested in it, the better the future is. It’s a no-brainer. And re-direct the funding cut from tertiary education back to universities and TAFEs. Freddy’s future relies on it – he’s going to do something UNBELIEVABLE. No pressure my boy!

- Economy – it’s central to everything. It’s important but I have no idea how it works. I want to pay a significant amount of tax, but I want high earners to pay a larger percentage of tax (we already have that). I want a Treasurer who is not afraid to spend for the long-term. I hope Freddy is better at maths.

- Climate change – According to the United States’ Environmental Protection Agency, methane (the same gas smelled in farts) is the “second most prevalent greenhouse gas emitted in the US from human activities”. A small man, in a small house, in a small suburb in Melbourne’s south-east contributes to half of Australia’s output. Put a cork in it buddy.

I also support same-sex marriage, a more humane immigration solution and a closure of the social “gap” between Indigenous Australians and the rest of the population.

So there it is. Probably my most boring blog post ... but it’s food for thought.

Anyway, whatever the outcome, it’s worth reminding ourselves we live in a safe place. I’ll be reminding Freddy of that all the time.

                                                                     No babies' voted in these elections. All felt they lost.