Thursday, 1 August 2013

SEX AND SENSIBILITIES



It’s not like I’m a deprived beast looking down the barrel of imposed celibacy, but it was an issue bound to be raised at some stage. Admittedly, being prompted into first thinking about it by a radio ad for Dr Snip was a surprise – Freddy had spent a mere 10 hours in the world. “No scalpel, no stitches, no hassles,” the ad promoted as I drove home from the hospital.

I guess a man needs but a sliver of light on the subject of penises, testicles or even vasectomies to eventually have his thoughts kidnapped by debauchery (read: intimacy). And so there I was trying desperately to ignore the consideration I was giving to sterilisation with thoughts of a postnatal romp.

Gathered around bed number 7 on the maternity ward, nurses and midwives were suggesting things to Anna that were aligned with what I was thinking. The only challenge was, it wasn’t Anna instigating it, let alone entertaining any of what she was hearing. She was the unwilling participant in a subtle push from the midwives to take birth control pills just in case we both wanted to get ‘back on the horse’. Anna loves telling the story about how “the midwife comes up to me, as I’m beginning to pack my bags to go home, and asks me if I’d like a prescription for the pill. I just laughed at her”. Anna duly declined the offer.

Almost six weeks later and she’s offered another prescription, this time by her GP. She accepts.

Anyway, it’s all got me thinking. Not about our sex life (Anna doesn't want me to reveal too much about that), but about parents in general. How do most new parents rekindle the romance when all that really turns them on is the prospect of having enough time to eat dinner together, or sitting down for a peaceful Saturday afternoon on the couch with the hope of falling asleep?

I have it on good authority that some new dads are sleeping on their own these days, while their partners doze with their baby in another room. I’d be interested to know whether that builds up the romance, or has the opposite effect.

A quick perusal of the local baby-website forums suggests that the mother’s fear is predominantly whether her partner will find her sexy after sharing the experience of childbirth, and her reluctance based on the apprehension that the sex will be different, odd, or unenjoyable. Let’s just get things straight...the birth was revealing, it was primal and it did look uncomfortable, but to the dads who I’ve recently swapped stories with, it was an extraordinary experience, an honour to be involved in and a massive turn-on. Witnessing your partner give birth is beautiful and sharing a child together is sure to make any intimate moment even more special.